fin de siècle

hello dear reader!!! or chat!!! i still don't know what to call you. it's been a few days. this may be short because i am quite sleepy! but i still thought i would say hi because i enjoy doing it and it's good to try and form habits and stuff.

my short little meeting with the counseling people went wellll and i had no trouble opening up about things which was good because i used to quite literally be unable to talk about the smallestttt things. i still feel that way sometimes! it's an interesting reversal---i used to not enjoy talking to therapists because i, like, hardly knew them, but now i feel fine with talking to them *because* i hardly know them. i will probably never encounter this person outside of the oneee space where i know i will encounter them. so that's nice! also they were just nice which was fun. they liked my vest which is a hashtag win.

i am a little sad because yesterday i was sooo happy with myself for having two, like, enjoyable & good & yum & hearty meals. i understand i'm throwing a lot of superlatives at the idea of eating two meals but i really did like them. but today i didn't have anything besides like... totally nonnutritious (this word seems to be more real than "nutritionless" because it's in merriam-webster) snacks!!! this is a bit lame but it's okay. tomorrow i will make up for it.

i started and finished a TV show which is fun. it was just the good place but i did like it. i might rewatch mr robot because it was a good show and i haven't seen it in a while. i am a little burnt out on watching movies because i've been finding them too severe... but mr robot is quite a severe show. i don't know. yeahhh i don't wanna rewatch it actually i'm remembering all the stuff that happens in that show. i need a show where everything is good all the time and there's no plot or anything. what shows are like that? i think house MD is like that, in a way. people only die like once a season. less than that, probably! i'm not a big house MD person though. it's for weird onliner people. in a way it exists just for people to make tumblr fan art of it. maybe something historic? chernobyl, maybe? i liked the first few episodes but never kept going. okay sorry this is really getting into banal water cooler level stuff. i just need something to put on to drown out the sound of my roommate watching instagram reels. i can't wear headphones because my hair is drying so preferably something that sounds very jarring and horrible. holy shit whatever is coming out of his phone is maybe the worst music i've ever heard. i will just watch something on my watchlist <3

okay goodbye for now dear reader. it is now 1 am ugh at least i have nothing to do tomorrow so i can stay up. OK THIS IS PISSING ME OFF A LITTLE ROOMMATE BE QUIET?? we're just going to do discharge or something for now to drown it out. actually i miss gloom we're going to do gloom. okay dear reader. goodbye for now for realsies. i forgot to meow in this message meow meow. GOODBYE FOR MEOW i forgot i did that