your kisses taste sweeter in a confessional booth

hello. in class currently but still feel like posting. interesting moods lately! some things have been going v well for me. and i'm very happy over them :) unfortunately i still feel bleh which is not fun. i would rather devote myself entirely to being happy over the good things that are happening but being bleh still slips in there. and it's a pretty awful bleh! i was talking to a friend and he seemed interested in talking about how i am which was very nice of him. i like him a lot honestly he's always very nice about this sort of thing. there is some natural difficulty in talking about how i am good as well as how i am bad... but i'll power through it probably. i feel very bad for still being suicidal, especially when i'm now talking to someone and having some sort of relationship, as if i'm not meant to feel this way right now... but i feel there isn't much i can do about it. i feel less bad about self harm especially because i still haven't done it and it's not as bad for me as suicide would be. anyways! sorry for not talking about the good thing as much. i really do like it :) it's horribly frightening and sickening and makes me shake and get lightheaded and forget to breathe but all good things should do this to me. i like it a lot. i'll ramble about it soon. i can't make this too long because i'm supposed to be paying attention right now. goodbye for meow :)