jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine

[enterthemirror]

hello again dear reader. i've decided i can't manufacture a name for you that's any better than the one that came naturally. this will be a short post because i am currently out in the field (sitting in the library). i can't tell if it's a symptom of me being incredibly tired but i feel slightly insane?? i don't know. feel veryyy odd currently and i feel like i should document it in some way to prove i'm not crazy but that's also a bit of work. i am just so overwhelmingly tired... totally ate shit in my chinese class today and i am realizing howww behind i am. so. we'll see how that goes!

i'm currently figuring out something banal to do because anything that requires my brain won't do. i like the idea of forming a habit of coming to the library but i am like very afraid that i have some paranoia thing going on which i have never really had before. i won't detail it here because it's slightly embarrassing... idk!!! i'd much rather be alone right now i think but maybe it's good for me to just deal with being uncomfortable and weird. trial by fire or something??? idk. i am going to make myself eat. i understand this post has consisted of me being a loser in its entirety but HEY sometimes i need to loser out a little bit. i'm doing a dry run of going out looking like a gay loser today... dressed as gay loserly as i could fathom and it's going okay. i sure hope i am not harassed in a way that is distinctly erotic! i am so tired. i am going to make myself eat. I BOUGHT A JACKET TOO!!! ok i need to not spend any more money. goodbye for meow dear reader