hold a bloodied knife to the throat of love
Wednesday, December 17th, 2025 01:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
enterthemirrorhello dear reader. i feel like i don't have much to say tonight... but i want to keep posting just because i think it keeps me well. i don't want to talk too much about my mood because talking too much about suicide is... not really a good practice for a number of reasons, but it's the big thing going on, so... shrug emoticon.
my mood has been weird. i have clues as to why but i can't share. i guess i have been doing better but it's not exactly reassuring. i should just enjoy it, i think! i feel like i just need to just do the things that i want to do. i've been wanting to make a pinhole camera. they're very simple and i really like that. well, actually... after thinking about it i don't know if i'll be able to actually use it. that's a bummer :( bleh now i'm sad again. sorry for being so cagey in this message. i don't know if it will actually do much for my mood to write all this out, but having habits is generally meant to be good for you, right? eh. i started a 3 hour movie and got about an hour in before wanting to tap out. judge if you want... i think a movie this long is meant to be enjoyed in a comfortable seat on a big screen and not in bed and on my laptop. i don't blame my attention span for not finishing it.
i don't really want to end this message already. i feel like if i keep writing i'll be alright for longer. i wish i could say everything here but i really can't. i need to just... i don't know. i can't express it. i need a task. i need to fill my time with something. bleh this isn't going well. i'm going to go out and have a smoke and finish this message up when i get back. okay well first i am saying pervy things to my girlfriend. CONSENSUALLY. i am going to ask for her permission to go smoke in a second.
okay i did some laundry too. well... i put laundry in, at least. i also need to be awake when it gets out of the dryer because i have a shirt i need to hang up... so much work. i don't think i have thattt much else to chat about... lame. i guess this is it for meow. sorry for being abrupt. goodnight for meow :)
my mood has been weird. i have clues as to why but i can't share. i guess i have been doing better but it's not exactly reassuring. i should just enjoy it, i think! i feel like i just need to just do the things that i want to do. i've been wanting to make a pinhole camera. they're very simple and i really like that. well, actually... after thinking about it i don't know if i'll be able to actually use it. that's a bummer :( bleh now i'm sad again. sorry for being so cagey in this message. i don't know if it will actually do much for my mood to write all this out, but having habits is generally meant to be good for you, right? eh. i started a 3 hour movie and got about an hour in before wanting to tap out. judge if you want... i think a movie this long is meant to be enjoyed in a comfortable seat on a big screen and not in bed and on my laptop. i don't blame my attention span for not finishing it.
i don't really want to end this message already. i feel like if i keep writing i'll be alright for longer. i wish i could say everything here but i really can't. i need to just... i don't know. i can't express it. i need a task. i need to fill my time with something. bleh this isn't going well. i'm going to go out and have a smoke and finish this message up when i get back. okay well first i am saying pervy things to my girlfriend. CONSENSUALLY. i am going to ask for her permission to go smoke in a second.
okay i did some laundry too. well... i put laundry in, at least. i also need to be awake when it gets out of the dryer because i have a shirt i need to hang up... so much work. i don't think i have thattt much else to chat about... lame. i guess this is it for meow. sorry for being abrupt. goodnight for meow :)
