mort à crédit

[enterthemirror]

hello dear reader. i waited to get reallyyy tired and comfortable in bed before deciding to roll over and get my laptop so i could make a blogpost. fun! surely all this blue light won't do anything to me. :3. i really am tired though. i'm a little emo but too tired to, like, reallyyy put my heart in it... the most i can do is romanticizing suicide but WHO WANTS TO HEAR THAT. cough. nothing fun has really gone on so far. like, there are things i have enjoyed, but they're not really great subjects of conversation, you know? the most notable thing is i went catatonic for like a day and refused to speak or move or eat or drink or anything. and that wasn't really enjoyable :(

been listening to lots of music, which i guess is fun. it's all been metal stuff which is a little... eh... i'd like to listen to more fun happy joyous music but it eludes me currently. i'm too tired to even give a good ramble on *music* which is, like, my forte. EW while i was making a topster i heard like a mouse in the wall next to me. IM SCARED. i'm an adult i'm not scared.



ok hi topster. there is more black metal that i have been listening to it is just not here because it's a lot of different albums and i haven't been listening to them very critically. some of them are undoubtedly a little sketch but i download it all illegally anyways and i've been being a good leftist and reading lots of Dauvé (when i can. is this an oxymoron?) so i don't really care very much. too tired to do a big analysis. ummm classical screamo classical, likeee indie rock i guess (!) black metal black metal, and video game ost (i'm so sorry) black metal black metal. there's your abridged analysis.

anywayssss i do kinda wanna romanticize suicide, but like... this is not the time or place. i don't reallyyy think i should get into that kind of thing at all but i do really wanna. i would like to lie to myself and say that voicing it here will make me less likely to think about it but the opposite will actually happen. i don't knowwww bleh. i also obviously don't wanna be concerning and that is kinda a concerning thing to do qwq. can't i just have a little fun? i'm so fun. :3. bleh okay i really am tired. goodnight for meow dear reader :) okay before i go to bed i want to say i read a little more and now i am not thinking of killing myself. just tired. and my lips are chapped. okay goodnight for realsies :)

Comments

[lesbocannibal]

hi, i love you <3 omg valve mentioned. Idk anything about half-life but I know they reference it in Portal which is the good game that's really good that I care about. It also has a really good soundtrack!! GLaDOS is wife <3

please dont kill yourselfe <3

i feel you though. i think i've also been falling down a hole of romanticizing cutting and gore and BPD and #femcel stuff recently. Augh now that I say that I DON'T WANT TO STOP DOING IT!!!!..... bweh idk ill think more. i always go through cycles of this stuff. cycles of wanting to drench myself further in the weeds nd followed by wanting to surface to breathe. kinda sick of it ngl

idc that your lips are chapped i'll kiss them anyway <3 and make it worse <3

[enterthemirror]

hi, i love you too!!! <3 i like valve. i try not to be a nerd over video games but i like them. i like portal a lot! i also love GLaDOS :D i did the co-op with my friend until we got confused for 5 minutes and gave up and watched korean cooking videos instead.

i will not kill myselfe <3

also sick of it. sick to death like i've never been sick beforeee slash reference.

yay. i love it when you make me worse. NOT in like a bad way in a hot way you know what i mean. kiss my lips and make them worse