they blocked my illegal hockey website. il interdit d'interdire!

good meowning i woke up officially like 45 min ago but i finally got out of bed. i have tasks to do this weekend (fridays count as the start of the weekend to me) but i really do not feel like doing them qwq. roommate went in to the city again so i have some time by myselfff with which i'll... idk... play music on my speaker and lay in bed and do nothing. this is nothing that goldfish and jacking off and killing myself can't fix. (i don't know how i feel about the phrase "jacking off"... there are pitifully few good phrases for jacking it.) it's too early for goldfish or jacking off or killing myself right now, admittedly. i am a little hungry . . . i need to keep eating that tiramisu cake or i will have wasted like 17 dollars.

anyways i don't have much stuff that's fun to talk about!!! umm... i don't know :( i insist on posting because it is fun but i also never leave my room, sooo... i can make fun things happen in here! i will make shadow puppets and whistle and practice recitation and i will be okay. i do want to read but i feel so unmotivated. there are multiple things i should be reading right now. bleh. i'll be okayyy. i wish i would have come with my roommate to the city and made him pay for my commuter rail ticket and i would just lay around in a park somewhere. bleh i need to get outtt i need to go out this weekend or i'll die. i need to work too. i won't work. ne travaillez jamais!!! okay meow wroof i am going to try and find something good to do. goodbye for now :)

butterfly brigade

so very sleepy. walked furrr... i don't know how long. probably left at or before 5 and got back likeee 5-10 min ago. i need to do that more i was sooo fucking unbelievably emo when i left but it relaxed me so much. i'm sorta backsliding but during the walk proper it was v nice. the sun was already going down when i left and i should probably not do that because it was near-total darkness on the way back but it was so nice. i saw a little two-person sailboat get put to water or whatever you call it. when i got back they had also just gotten back on land!! so for 2/3rds of my whole walk they were out on some little miniature lake or oversized pond or whatever. i think that's a nice thought.

off-topic observation. i think my early warning system for me being emo (also i've never established. "me being emo" is shorthand for "I'd like to kill myself") is if i start having like absolutely insane thoughts on sex. thankfully i nipped them in the bud by going out and "touching grass" which apparently actually works?!??! anyways i won't elaborate qwq but i am documenting my observation for further analysis.

anyways. the terminus of my journey ended up being a kinda shitty sandwich/pizza place. i go in and place my order and have a soda because i like soda but never let myself drink it (how else am i meant to be as elated as that little german boy?). i gettt my order (really bad "greek" chicken wrap) and they kinda just... walk away... back to the kitchen... and i kinda just... leave without paying... so the journey was worth it even though the wrap was not good. maybe i'll make it a habit! i don't want to go out again today because i am so sleepy and i know i shouldn't let myself end up getting emo again but i have been in the presence of my roommate for like two minutes total and it's already grating. sooo we will see. bleh it's not even 8 and i have no idea what to do. movie, maybe? blehhh i wish i was out still. i am going to try and relax but roommate may end up driving me out. omnomnom im eating protein bar. okay dear reader i will try to make this my last post of the night. goodbye for meow :)