i held beauty in my arms - and found her bitter - and i insulted her

hello dear reader!! feeling slightly ill. i don't think i'm *actually* ill... but i feel ill. had an okay day. woke up way too late. had sorta unfavorable experiences with people today bar a few nice conversations. bleh. not much to talk about. i think generallyyy, i'm... certainly feeling worse than yesterday, but not horrible. but not good. i don't really know what to do... bleh... i forget if i ate or not today but i'm not really very hungry. i don't know. i think it may actually be slightly horrible qwq. hopefully i'll be slightly better tomorrow. i think i'm never getting those razors which i hatehatehate. i'm just going to end up buying them again :( i had a nice conversation about music today though. this person has a pretty similar taste as me which is fun! we don't talk incredibly often but they're nice. and of course i saw my friend at ballet which i didn't note yesterday because i was very late and saw little of it. it was nice. i didn't get to talk very much because i was a little dead and they had just finished doing ballet for like an hour. i am a littleee sad about that but not overwhelmingly (?). someone has been trying to be very nice to me and i don't know how to explain to them that it makes me feel astronomically more self-injurious. it's a bit of a pain but it's okay. i feel angsty thinking about it--but i'm very tired of talking to people about things they have no understanding of! i guess that's a very animal concern we all have. i don't really know. i feel like everything's starting to get a little more dire. but it's okay :) meowmeowmeow. i have been thinking about not doing therapy any more because i feel like it doesn't have very much more to offer me but i feel that'd set off some alarm somewhere. i don't know. i did up my last.fm the other day, if you count changing your profile picture and bio as doing something up. i liked doing that. i don't like being too vulnerable on here but i think i am a little scared. bweh i wish i could say that sort of thing and not have anyone read into it any sort of way. i just want to say it! and not have anyone else listen but still be able to say it. i know that you, dear reader, will cover your ears whenever i ask. pretend your ears were covered, now uncover them. goodbye for meow :)