spk, spk, spk... ok!
Thursday, October 16th, 2025 03:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
enterthemirrorhelloooo chat i can't sleep at all. this will be a short post because i really just want to complain. i doubt i will be able to sleep at all tonight and i don't know what i'll do for my classes tomorrow. i absolutely can't just skip them but i also can't stay up all night and expect to attend. i tried signing up for the little campus therapy thing and i am hoping it will go differently than my other therapy experiences but i don't have that much faith. i guess i just want to try it out. insurance covers it anyways, so it's basically free. my appointment is on wednesday but it can't come soon enough. bleh. i don't even like talking about mental health stuff on here. hopefully with like one person in a closed room it'll go better? i don't know. maybe i'll do better than i think—i think if i just get over saying the scariest things *first* everything else will come easy. i just need to hang in there until wednesday and then i can try it out. i don't think i'm going to like kill myself in this time frame (<- Joke) i am just afraid of waiting that long. okay, being emo is over. i feel like this doesn't need a signoff thing because it hardly counts as a post. anyways. goodbye for meow :(
editing this because i am in such a dire situation i need to do like a little mental exercise qwq. all the good things that happened today. someone i barely know from my chinese class came up to me when i was at lunch (i got lunch! that's a good thing) and made v nice unprompted conversation. maybe i will try to chat with them more tomorrow! one of the people i know from club is having medical issues so he hasn't been around much but a few days ago he offhandedly commented on wanting to hang out with me more outside of club related stuff and he reiterated that desire again today (reserved for when he gets a little better) so that's yay! when i was at lunch i ate with a different friend and had a nice lil chat and ate too many of those mini pumpkin whoopie pie things. andandand the gross league of legends player diddd message me first today so even though i am a loser for triple messaging back to no reply. i can still be like Hooray they wanted to chat :D so that's a moral victory. okay maybe this has made me feel slightly better. i'm still unable to sleep and worried about tomorrow and generally worried buttt i'm not gonna be a WUSS about itttt i am i am. goodbye for meowww :(
editing this because i am in such a dire situation i need to do like a little mental exercise qwq. all the good things that happened today. someone i barely know from my chinese class came up to me when i was at lunch (i got lunch! that's a good thing) and made v nice unprompted conversation. maybe i will try to chat with them more tomorrow! one of the people i know from club is having medical issues so he hasn't been around much but a few days ago he offhandedly commented on wanting to hang out with me more outside of club related stuff and he reiterated that desire again today (reserved for when he gets a little better) so that's yay! when i was at lunch i ate with a different friend and had a nice lil chat and ate too many of those mini pumpkin whoopie pie things. andandand the gross league of legends player diddd message me first today so even though i am a loser for triple messaging back to no reply. i can still be like Hooray they wanted to chat :D so that's a moral victory. okay maybe this has made me feel slightly better. i'm still unable to sleep and worried about tomorrow and generally worried buttt i'm not gonna be a WUSS about itttt i am i am. goodbye for meowww :(
