the curse strikes thrice: rendezvous in casablanca

[enterthemirror]

i feel like that'd be a fun movie. anyways... not to complain but i really must do something to my roommate to make him take his phone calls somewhere else. there are the great vast beautiful outdoors begging to be defiled with horrible conversation and you AREN'T taking them up on it? and instead making little ol' me deal with it? shameful, truly. it's more fun to write these without anyone reading them (or without knowing whether or not anyone is) so i don't know if i'll share or not. especially if i were to talk about anything #Political, not because i think i have bad opinions, but because it always embarrasses me to talk about politics. why? i'm not sure! i don't want to sound teenage, i guess. i think it is very shameful to be teenage and entirely confident in your own politics [edit: specifically confident in, like *radical* politics. being confident in normal, intelligent person politics is totally okay. being confident in radical politics is okay too actually. just... scary to me]. i AM confident in my own politics but at least i know i don't deserve to be yet. especially when i know people who are around the same age as me and are entirely confident in political beliefs that i can't stand... a Stalinist, really? incredible. i seriously cannot fathom being a Stalinist under 70. i wonder if i will meet anyone who i really, like... i mean i obviously agree with people politically lol but i mean like *click* with! i hate the idea of "converting" people... i guess you sort of have to when you're a super ultra uber-leftist because not everyone just pops out that way. but it feels perverse and sick. like, Stalin guy is including Stalin on the little instructional educational list thing? god, i both hope everyone who shows up for that understands Stalin is full of shit (i don't know how one would do that as, like, a beginner. vibes?) but ALSO sticks around despite that. i want him to scare people away but specifically from HIM and not leftism entirely. rotten business! even Trotsky is too far left for some of the "leftists" i've met so far. shudder to imagine what they'd think about Situationists, post-Marxists, Autonomists... essentially anyone i am partial to. tout va bien